It was such a beautiful morning this morning as my son and I walked to school - the sun was shining, we spotted 3 kookaburra's on the electric wire (no pants on fire!) and watched as 2 of them caught their breakfast! This morning was much like another morning on this day 6 years ago ...
Today is a significant day for me, as is the 10th of October every year! Today is my son's birthday and today he turns 6!
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| Here is my newborn son - Yes - 10 pounds 7 ounces! Big Boofa! |
All of us who are parents know that the journey of parenthood is like a giant never ending roller coaster ! The highs and lows are endless and we've certainly had our share. Every year at this time, like I'm sure many parents do, I reflect over the past years and the many years leading up to his birth.
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| Less than a week old |
My husband and I are one of the couples where falling pregnant did not come naturally. We tried to fall pregnant for several years and ended up needing to explore other options which led us to our journey with IVF. Trying to fall pregnant was an incredibly emotional time of our lives, facing infertility and the possibility of not having children. I still do not know how I would have ever coped with that outcome! I had started an alternative life plan - if I was not pregnant by my 40th birthday - we were moving to Far North Queensland for a couple of years to work on dive boats!
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| Just after his 1st birthday - cheeky boy getting into everything including the heating ducts!!! |
Thankfully for us, IVF worked, and before my 40th birthday!! I was thrilled to find out I was pregnant - I clearly remember finding out - I had been to the IVF clinic that morning for a blood test (as I had embryo's implanted 2 weeks earlier - those 2 weeks after implantation are like no other 2 weeks a woman experiencing IVF can ever live through!). It was the first blood test I had where I had not started menstruating, so there was a little glimmer of maybe bubbling away in the background! I did not let those bubbles rise to the surface though - too much disappointment!
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| Hanging with my dog on a camping trip, just turned 2 |
I was at work and my mobile rang and it was lunch time - I looked at the number and I knew it was the IVF clinic - they NEVER called me this early - it was always mid afternoon. I didn't answer it, I was in the staff room, I was feeling a little freaked! A message was left - is scoffed the rest of my lunch and went to the quiet room at work. I listened to the message - please call back - I called back. I was pregnant! Ecstasy! I was bursting! I called my husband! Jubilation!
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| First trip to the snow! Just before his 3rd Birthday, with mum, grandma and grandpa. |
The first few weeks after a positive blood test and undergoing IVF, the pregnancies are very closely monitored. There were weekly blood tests for the next few weeks plus a scan at 7 weeks to check for the heat beat. Seeing and hearing the heartbeat for the first time was amazing! I was instantly bonded with this child growing within me, I was in love, I am a mother …. finally. Until ……….
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| Yep - a massive Cars fan! Just after his 3rd Birthday |
I started bleeding. Oh no! It can't be happening! Having had a miscarriage already around the same time of pregnancy, I new what this looked like. The same bleeding, the same time. Ecstasy to the deepest hole in hell in the space of 5 seconds. I need to be admitted to a psychiatric unit, I can't stand this anymore. Coincidentally I had my final check up with my IVF specialist the next day. Don't jump to conclusions, it might be OK (really? Bull!$%#). We arrive to see the IVF specialist, I look and feel like crap, I've done nothing but cry for the last 12 hours and I haven't slept at all. The IVF specialist is stressed too and ended up being quite rude which was not helpful!!! Off for an emergency scan ……
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| Love our mum and son hugs at bedtime, my favourite time of the day (or night!) Around 31/2 |
The sonographer is tense, my husband is keeping a brave and stoic face, I'm just a mental case of sadness, despair and hormones. There is my baby - did I see it move? No, just my imagination, no, it moved - Oh! there's the heartbeat! Really! Is it really there? It is really there - my baby is still alive, bouncing around. The source of the bleeding can't be found, but the baby is fine, just fine, looking healthy and fine. So I cry again, and sob and try and compose myself. I'm exhausted, but feeling so relieved, so very relieved.
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| Dinosaurs have been and continue to be a big feature in our lives! Just after his 4th Birthday |
I find a fabulous obstetrician and I am still monitored closely. The pregnancy continues fairly uneventful until my 14 week check up where we receive our 12 week scan results. Only one umbilical artery found at the 12 week scan. There should be two. What does this mean? It might mean nothing, or it might mean kidney and or cardiac problems for the baby (won't know until 24 week scan), could mean the baby needs to be born at 28 - 30 weeks as the baby wont receive enough nourishment in utero. Should I be worried? No said the obstetrician, I shouldn't. Yeah right!
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| Father and son! Just after his 5th Birthday |
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| Us! Great Barrier Reef - aboard Calypso out of Port Douglas - I'm in this one! (The boats photographer took these images) |
I was in denial. I had entered the bizarre 2nd trimester where I no longer felt sick and felt quite good. Thankfully I could feel the baby move by around 17 weeks, so I took some comfort in that. 24 week scan day arrived and I was nervous, but at least I new my baby was alive and I would cope with what ever was coming my way. I told the sonographer that I was a nurse and that I wanted to know what they were seeing and to not hide anything from me!! So here we go again, what are we going to find out this time? Ummm, well, there are actually 2 umbilical arteries! Pardon? Yes, there are 2 umbilical arteries! So there is nothing wrong? No, there is nothing wrong. For goodness sake! Thank goodness but really!! I don't need anymore of this roller coaster ride!!!
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| This is his bad man gangster face (we were at a gangster and flappers party in Cairns!) Just after his 5th Birthday |
Thankfully the rest of the pregnancy was very routine - no more surprises, no more strain, no more ups and downs and round and rounds. Until the birth - but that is a story for another day - maybe the 7th birthday!
While life has not turned out exactly how I imagined (unfortunately no more children for us, but we feel very blessed indeed to have our amazing son in our lives), each and every day I am so grateful that we have a beautiful healthy son to share our lives with. His zest for life is awesome and each and everyday he brings so much joy and laughter to our lives. You have changed me, I am a better person because of you.
Happy Birthday my beautiful, amazing wonderful son. Your dad and I are very proud of you and the brilliant young boy you have become. We love you to the moon and back, all around the universe and back a hundred million times!
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| Happy 6th Birthday! |
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I would love to hear your comments and experiences with your pregnancies and falling pregnant! Feel free to share in comments below!
If you are struggling with fertility issues, have experienced miscarriage/s and are feeling pretty crap - my heart goes out to you as do my positive vibes. There is hope in your future and you will come through the other side, you will get there, hang on! Life is meant to throw us curve balls that smash us in the face. If you are feeling overwhelmed and not coping, please seek help.
Here are some useful links -
http://mivf.com.au/fertility-treatment/ivf-counselling-support/ivf-patient-suport-groups
http://ivf.com.au/fertility-treatment/ivf-counselling-support/ivf-resources
http://www.sands.org.au
http://infertility-support.meetup.com/cities/au/melbourne/
http://pregnancylossaustralia.org.au
http://www.bubhub.com.au/directory/find/miscarriage-grief-loss-helplines
